Gourmet Adventures T-Shirts

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'A cheeky red?'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Fresh pepper?"

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Holiday Supplies

I wish I'd had the review.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."