Gourmet Experiences T-Shirts

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'A cheeky red?'

'Please remember, it's the ambience you're paying for here.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

La Table

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Too much cilantro

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

French wine

The Main Types of Cheese

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

To do before Saturday...

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'