Gourmet Explorers T-Shirts

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

All I'm saying is why don't we do something different this year. How do we know the pilgrims didn't enjoy a nice lobster bisque once in awhile?

"Did you folks enjoy your 'death by chocolate'?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Holiday Supplies

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

I wish I'd had the review.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."