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Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Diner.

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Holiday Supplies

I wish I'd had the review.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Platter confusion.