Gadget Gourmet Explorer T-Shirts

"He's got an amazing sense of direction. He ate my GPS."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'How was the squid?'

Alphabet soup

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Boy baking a cake.

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'My French is not so good.'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"Sauted lard, please."