Gadget Gourmet Explorer Pillows

"He's got an amazing sense of direction. He ate my GPS."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

'How was the squid?'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Alphabet soup

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Boy baking a cake.

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

'My French is not so good.'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

"Sauted lard, please."

UFO = Unidentified frying object.