Gourmet Gadgeteer Pillows

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

A welder heats his soup with a blow torch.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I come here for the pepper."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Cheese

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

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