Gourmet Gadgeteers Pillows

Afloat, only 20% of iceberg lettuce is visible.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I come here for the pepper."

French wine

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Too much cilantro

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

To do before Saturday...

The Main Types of Cheese

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"