Gourmet Treats T-Shirts

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

To do before Saturday...

French wine

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Too much cilantro

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

His Her Cakes

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"