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Pink Slime Burger

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Holiday Supplies

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

Nutrition-Free Diet

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."