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"Yes, the French only eat the legs, but we're not French! We eat the whole frog!"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

'How was the squid?'

Picasso

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

"You were right-we should have just split one."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'My French is not so good.'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"What's the 'Chef's Surprise'? That's his reaction when you actually eat it."

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"