Gourmet Explorers Pillows

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

All I'm saying is why don't we do something different this year. How do we know the pilgrims didn't enjoy a nice lobster bisque once in awhile?

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Holiday Supplies

I wish I'd had the review.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"