Gourmet Sleuth T-Shirts

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

Alphabet soup

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

Low Hanging Fruit

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

Horse meat scandal.

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

Kitchen - Sign reads 'Out of Hors D'Oeuvres.'

Le Gourmet Bistro. Paging Mister Zah, paging Mister Zah. Do we have a Pete Zah here?

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'You order the jumbo combo?'