Chocolate Detective Pillows

Missing Easter Egg

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Cake Free Zone

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Another day in the Splenda mines

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Pie Filling Reader

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Over here, Carol! I've found one with a caramel center!"

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Cookie Surveillance

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Who stole my candy?

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Doughnut Criminals

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

"It's marzipan pigs."

"Tell me the truth. . . what happens to all the leftover cake scraps in The Great British Baking Show?"

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

'Something tells me I shouldn't have had these around Easter.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

"Remind me - superfood or carcinogen?"