Mystery Ingredient Shopper Gifts

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

Toadstools

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Honest Vending

Newt sale

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

'Diet considerations.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Secret Family Recipes

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

Kitchen Consultations

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...