Mystery Ingredient Shopper T-Shirts

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

Toadstools

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Newt sale

Honest Vending

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'Diet considerations.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Secret Family Recipes

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

Kitchen Consultations

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

Lack of Nutrition Information