Food Label Investigator Gifts

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Your lobster was off!

All Natural Nothing

Honest Vending

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

HELLth Food Sprouts

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Diet considerations.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

Horse meat scandal.

Our Troubled Chowders

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"I've been mutated into the strawberry field. Get me out now."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'