Ingredient Inspector Gifts

'Clam chowder - ingredients: clams, potatoes, water, hydrolated plant protein, sodium phosphate, calcium carbonate,butylated hydroxytolune. For external use only.'

'Yes, it's full of chemicals.'

All Natural Nothing

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Honest Vending

Your lobster was off!

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Diet considerations.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

The Inexperienced Cook

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"I've been mutated into the strawberry field. Get me out now."

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"I think the milk's off!"

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Our Troubled Chowders

Horse meat scandal.