Food Safety Inspector Gifts

'What'll it be - one large risk or several small ones?'

Food and Drug Administration, Yummy-Yucky.

'Just mash them the old-fashioned way, Doris.'

Health and safety at work.

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

'There are millions of bacteria in your intestines, anyway. What harm could one or two more do?'

'Would you like a piece of advice, Mr Salmonella?' asks passer-by to gentleman opening a deli.

Health and Safety workers Annual Barbecue

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

'Don't worry- mine is the good E. Coli.'

'I'll have the food scare of the day.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'I think we're telling them more than we have to.'

'Does this milk taste a little funny to you?'

Sam Ella - Quality Meat

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Excellent choice, our double mocha fudge supreme has never been linked to a serious injury or fatality."

'You can assure them that irradiated and genetically-modified foods are all perfectly safe.'

'Sure, we can keep the floors clean. Well just use the stuff we bleach the flour with.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"I've had this eerie feeling I'm being followed!"

"I've been working with pain-killers - anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxants..."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

'I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests.'

Out For A Working Lunch.

'Most people are worried about this - According to a Gallup pole.'

Wild fruit

'What's in the packet?'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Nice try, Mr. Gibbs, but Salmonella is not a player with the N.Y. Yankees."

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

The Modern Daredevil.

Your lobster was off!

"I've been mutated into the strawberry field. Get me out now."