Food Safety Regulator Gifts

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Kitchen Kapers

Your lobster was off!

Honest Vending

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Please don't kill me."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"The penicillin looks good."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"I'm going in."

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

Frankenfish

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."