Food Safety Regulator Prints

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Honest Vending

Kitchen Kapers

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Your lobster was off!

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Please don't kill me."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"The penicillin looks good."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"I'm going in."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

Frankenfish

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."