Food Regulations Prints

'The Government says we have to list all ingredients -- What's your social security number?'

"We won!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Kitchen Kapers

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Honest Vending

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Please don't kill me."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

World Hunger Conference.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

How Many It Takes

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'That's our corporate ladder.'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

"The penicillin looks good."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'You forgot the product label.'