Food Regulations Gifts

'The Government says we have to list all ingredients -- What's your social security number?'

"We won!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Kitchen Kapers

Honest Vending

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Please don't kill me."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

World Hunger Conference.

How Many It Takes

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'That's our corporate ladder.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"The penicillin looks good."

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"I'm going in."

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'