Dining Regulations Fan Gifts

Skeleton staff. No food to be consumed on these premises.

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"How about a little more coffee?"

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

"Hey, Merle, table 8 wants ham and eggs. . . Errr. . . chocolate!"

"Why do I always get stuck at the Kids' Round Table?"

"If you want fiber, madame, I suggest you eat the menu."

'Red meat is bad for you.' 'No, red meat is not bad for me. Green meat is bad for me!'

"Relax, everybody. It's no one we knew."

'The good news is we can still get abortions.'

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

'I'll have a dozen custard pies as well, please!'

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

"I don't want any pie, so can I get Ice Cream A La Mode!"

"Night, owl!"

"Sir, are you sure you don't want to try anything else besides the fish for once?"

'You said 'chew your liver'. You didn't say anything about swallowing it.'