Food Restrictions Gifts

The Sprats

World Hunger Conference.

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Finish your food and think about all those poor starving kids in America.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

"I'd invite you back to the house for a glass of iced tea, but I'm afraid our kitchen isn't kosher."

Covid Garbage Dump

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

"All these healthy eating edicts and chew twenty times...I'm fed up to where my back teeth used to be!"

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

"I'm giving up chocolate for lent."

'And ask the chef to run his blender as he cooks that steak. My doctor has put me on a liquid diet.'

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

Gluten-free area.

Skeleton staff. No food to be consumed on these premises.

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

"It's the only organic lacto-vegan menu I could find that fitted into the firms Christmas meal budget."

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"And here's a list of food you can't eat."

I'm allergic to cookie dough and I'm lactose intolerant, but I appreciate the thought. Thanks. -S. Claus.

Bureaucracy sits on US food production while ignoring world hunger.

"Well Master Jack! We have reason to believe you're growing a GM crop without a licence!"

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

ECJ: it's illegal to call tofu 'cheese'.

She's just discovered her irritable bowel syndrome isn't caused by chocolate!

"Eat up your pudding love and that's Christmas over."

COVID Summer

'The Government says we have to list all ingredients -- What's your social security number?'