Food Standards Gifts

Warning! All items in this store approved by the U.S. regulatory system.

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Honest Vending

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Kitchen Kapers

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'Is it organic?'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"The penicillin looks good."

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Frankenfish

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

Our Troubled Chowders

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."