Food Safety Guardian Gifts

Watchdog Maddoff Type Fraud Schemes.

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Your lobster was off!

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Kitchen Kapers

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Please don't kill me."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"I'm going in."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"The penicillin looks good."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'