Food Safety Guardian Gifts

Watchdog Maddoff Type Fraud Schemes.

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Your lobster was off!

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

Kitchen Kapers

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"The penicillin looks good."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."