Food Safety Consultant Gifts

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

"Aren't you worried you might poison your customers?"

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

Your lobster was off!

Kitchen Kapers

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"I'm going in."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"The penicillin looks good."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research