Food Safety Consultant Gifts

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

"Aren't you worried you might poison your customers?"

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Your lobster was off!

Honest Vending

Kitchen Kapers

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"The penicillin looks good."

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research