Food Safety Advocate Gifts

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'Caution: raw eggs!'

Grim Reaper with ChipsFries.

Horseradishes guaranteed 100% horse free!

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

'I think we're telling them more than we have to.'

Sam Ella - Quality Meat

'Careful Jack - it might be a GM beanstalk!'

'Sure, we can keep the floors clean. Well just use the stuff we bleach the flour with.'

'I'll have the chopped steak, without bacterial contamination and without mad cow virus.'

"Are there any nuts in the kitchen?"

'Confound it - somebody put tuna in our mercury.'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'Look daddy, a surprise in the frozen lasagna.'

'Before we treat any more steers with hormone implants...'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"Something tells me we should avoid the sushi here!"

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

A man grinds bones into mince.

"Would sir care to study the menu?"

"I'm not sure about this brand of mineral water. The minerals in it are lead, asbestos and mercury."

"Of course it smells and looks like something from the sewage pipe....it is from the sewage pipe. The food you ordered is over here!"

"I'll just need to reset this, then come back for your dessert order."

"Actually, I recommend the lobster. . . because it's starting to spoil!"

"I only eat GMOs."

'Ok. Have your maple sugar on a stick, but watch me call the exterminator!'

Couple horrified to see Death coming out of restaurant

Horse D'Oeuvres

Lifeguard for Fly Swimming in Soup

'This soup must be loaded with additives. The label says that 'frequent use of this product requires periodic liver function tests'.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

The Gingerbread Man Decides to Stop Running. Haven't you people ever heard of the 5-second rule?!

Armstrong, prepare yourself for massive protests. I know you're using dye made of crushed South American beetles to make your coffee look richer. I've called the news. They'll be here any minute. You've got it all wrong, Mort. I don't do that. What kind of cafe owner do you take me for?! Really? Oh … my apologies. The roaches from the alley were much cheaper.

"Are you sure there are no nuts in this muffin? I'm allergic."