Food Safety Aficionado Gifts

'I'll have the food scare of the day.'

'I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests.'

"I've had this eerie feeling I'm being followed!"

"Hon, could you check the expiration date on the Cheez Whiz?"

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

Honest Vending

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

Quick, what's the five-second rule in dog years?

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Food inspection results

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"What do you recommend today?"

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

Grim Reaper with ChipsFries.