Food Safety Aficionados Gifts

"It's empty because the health department banned everything inside the box."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Honest Vending

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Kitchen Kapers

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Please don't kill me."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"The penicillin looks good."

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

Our Troubled Chowders

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"