Food Safety Nerd Gifts

'These hot springs are great: I really do prefer food that's been washed in hot water...'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Kitchen Kapers

Honest Vending

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"The penicillin looks good."

"I'm going in."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"I think the milk's off!"

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."