Food Safety Skeptic Gifts

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Honest Vending

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Kitchen Kapers

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Gullib-Os

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"The penicillin looks good."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

Our Troubled Chowders

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."