Food Safety Philosopher Gifts

"Now, if you're feeling adventurous we can undercook the chicken."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Kitchen Kapers

Honest Vending

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"Think about it: You're about to create fifty two orphans!"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry