Food Safety Philosopher T-Shirts

"Now, if you're feeling adventurous we can undercook the chicken."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Kitchen Kapers

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Think about it: You're about to create fifty two orphans!"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.