Food Safety Expert Gifts

Frankenfish

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Coffee Warehouse. These have become hazardous to consume - they're old and rotten. They're just a bunch of haz-beans now!

What's in the milk today?

Out of favor former USA Homeland Security nominee, Bernard Kerik.

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Your lobster was off!

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Kitchen Kapers

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Please don't kill me."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"I'm going in."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"The penicillin looks good."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'