Food Safety Skeptic Pillows

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Kitchen Kapers

Honest Vending

HELLth Food Sprouts

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Gullib-Os

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"The penicillin looks good."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

Our Troubled Chowders

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'