Food Skeptic Pillows

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

'Funny things carbohydrates - you can't see them, yet they terrify my mother.'

"A recent government study has concluded that toast and marmalade may be hazardous to human health."

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Please don't kill me."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

Gullib-Os

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"I don't usually like green food, but that looks pretty good."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'