Food Safety Comedian Gifts

'Say... this looks like a good place!'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Dolphin friendly tuna

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Chef copy robot

"Please don't kill me."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"For drinks or dinner?"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

'Your drug tests show no signs of illegal substances, but they do show a huge amount of artificial colorings and preservatives.'

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"What do you recommend today?"

Food inspection results

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"It's only the Ericksons, so why don't you just use the recalled hamburger meat."

"Aren't you worried you might poison your customers?"

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

"I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?"

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."