Product Inspector Gifts

Dodgy firework factory

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

All Natural Nothing

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Rust test in progress.

"Office of quality assurance"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

Product Testing Department

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'Why on Earth would you ask if this turkey is genetically modified?'

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

'They're not like popsickles, Sir. . . they're just too warm and syrupy.'

The food inspector

'What did you find in your soup?'

Food Uncertainty

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

Your friend, Ernie, is an impressive, multi-talented guy! He's been a actor in the theater, in archeologist, and now he's a diplomat! He hasn't been any of those things. He used to install doors. Oh, he told me he was "applauded for his entrances." And he was an inspector, book for expired yogurt, at the dairy warehouse. He said he "searcher for ancient cultures." Now he sells mattresses. You think he's a diplomat? Yeah, he told me he's "devoted to eliminating unrest in the world"