Product Inspection Gifts

'Hello, Trading Standards...I've taken delivery of goods that may not be genuine.'

All Natural Nothing

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Rust test in progress.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Office of quality assurance"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Product Testing Department

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'Why on Earth would you ask if this turkey is genetically modified?'

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

Food Uncertainty

Factory Rejects Inc.

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

"Ooops....I guess this one failed."

'The food inspector, Sir!'

'What did you find in your soup?'

The food inspector