Narrative Dominator Gifts

'What have you got to say for yourself? Or would you rather hear about me?'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

Why do you need so many computers?

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

Records?

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"We need a better piling system."

In and Out Trays

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

John Galsworthy

"Is there any way we can skip right to adulthood and start being in charge?"

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

'I can dream, can't I?'

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"

'I'm involved in lots of office politics. Do you have this in Kevlar?'

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

"What's wrong with my filing system?"

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

Anecdote Magazine

"Yes, I'm really enjoying it here since my promotion, Joe, and by the way you're fired."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

"It's the only way we know that the meeting's finally over."

News Celeb Divorce: Long-suffering wife tells us of abusive husband, In tomorrow's news - dignified husband tells us of vile grabbing wife.

"Sorry, but your story contains way too much reality!"

''What I Did During My Summer Vacation -- A Coming of Age Story....''

'Well, you sure got your message across to the people THAT time.'

'I know hunting season starts tomorrow, so get out of my mashed potatoes!'

"I worked so hard to get into debt, I don't have the energy to work my way out of it."

Big frog in a small pond.com

'She doesn't just hold a conversation, she strangles it.'

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!