Narrative Controller Gifts

fat guy with cigar writes his own speech bubble

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

Grimm's Reality Tales.

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"I'm after the history section."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."