Dinner Table Dominator Gifts

'I know hunting season starts tomorrow, so get out of my mashed potatoes!'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

"Slop again?!"

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'What have you got to say for yourself? Or would you rather hear about me?'

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

"I'm not saying it's undercooked, dear, but I've seen fish hurt worse than this jump off the hook."

"Must you people always call at dinnertime?"

'Tom Jones is still my favorite movie. It has the most explicit eating.'

If I don't make a sound, he won't notice.

'Must this family always talk sports at the dinner table?'

Magic to prepare food

'How to Eat while Reading' and 'How to Read while Eating'.

Chicken running out of restaurant, waiter: "Err, chickens off"

"Do we really have to use these plates?"

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

"Okay, who gets the beef and who gets the ants?"

'So how was your day?'

"Your dinner's flushed away."

A family at the dinner table

'What a Nose!'

'Remember when the chat room was just the dinner table?'