Dinner Table Hero Gifts

A family at the dinner table

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

"Slop again?!"

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

"I'm not saying it's undercooked, dear, but I've seen fish hurt worse than this jump off the hook."

"Sorry, Damocles - at out dinner parties we always sit boy, girl, boy, girl."

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

"Darling, can you pass me the salt and the pepper spray?"

'Eat your vegetables, or you'll go mad like your father!'

If I don't make a sound, he won't notice.

"Do we really have to use these plates?"

'I know hunting season starts tomorrow, so get out of my mashed potatoes!'

'If God had meant for me to eat Brussels sprouts, He would've put me in Belgium.'

What's for dinner? Leftunders!

"We'd like to substitute you for a waiter who'll write down our order."

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

'And we also thank the FDA for this genetically engineered food.'

'I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals - I'm a vegetarin because I hate plants.'

'At least the turkey's dressed.'