Dinner Table Disciplinarian Gifts

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

Screen Time at the Dining Table

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"

"Slop again?!"

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table

'That's it - I'm leaving home!'

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

"Now son. We haven't given thanks for all we're about to destroy."