Dining Table Debater Gifts

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

"You owe me five bucks."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'All right, I agree with you.'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Alexis Tsipras meets Francois Hollande

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

'Forget about National Security for a second... if I'm not home in an hour for dinner, there's going to be some REAL FIREWORKS!'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

"Because of the war can we split this?"

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'