Meal Time Disciplinarian Gifts

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"You do like octopus?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"You keep impeccable time."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Michael, do your dinner."

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

Leaves.

Mom Umpires

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

"No, I said 'sit'."

Catering for a large family.

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

Woman opens sushi box.

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"I'll have what she's having when she decides what she's having."

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

"Worms."

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

The company gym's down the hall, but your resolve will be tested by running the gauntlet of snack machines.

'You mean, you cooked broccoli on PURPOSE?'