Name Game Novice Gifts

'I don't know what it is, Fang, but I've always been bad at remember names.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Today we learned to count to one.

Babies vs. Dogs

Biro Diversity

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Tom Cruise

Naming that Impala

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Care for an oxymoron?"

"This is Dakota, Bodie and Scout—And our dog, Richard."

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"Triple whammy."

Let's try some word disassociation

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

Wordplay: Dilemma.

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."

"The sea will doctor you now."

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

"Seriously? You guys couldn't do any better than Frank?"

'I'll know Mr. Right when I see him. Upon marriage, he'll be willing to change his last name to mine.'

Can I be Frank with you?

'The larrikin was shirty because his crowdy wasn't flyless.'

"That's just UDDER NUN-sense."

Changing house name.

"My parents named me Bill because I was past due when I was born."

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

"These are my sons, Brayden, Caden, Aiden, and Maiden."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'Therefore I do christen this child 'Isyouis Oris You Ain't.''

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Jones.

"Actually, the first name was easy. It's her last name we're battling about."