Name Game Gifts

America's a great place. But you know what it doesn't have? Moscow? Wrong. No, I'm pretty sure Moscow isn't in the United States. Unless you count that city in Idaho. But you have to wonder why people in the "Heartland" didn't change the name during the Cold War. Why do they call the middle the "Heartland" when the heart is on the left side of the chest? America doesn't have focus, is what I was going to say.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Cut Price

Backfire

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Fast food. Even faster food

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dog Park

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Shampoo.

Silence of the Chickens...

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

Hermit Crabapple Tree

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

Czarcasm

"Bed Spread"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Bangers and Mash

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

Artifishial Intelligence

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

Eldrow

Cat Burglar

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.